So many things to do, So little time

I made myself go out for breakfast after dropping my son off with his grandmother. Somehow I wasn't hungry, but I had to eat for her. While I ate, I could feel her waking, stretching, moving and then "eating" along with me.

She's very still now, probably back asleep again after her meal. Last night she didn't move much, I guess I was moving around too much to feel her. I only went to bed at 1am, and I fell asleep very quickly.

In my mind, I'm thinking of all the possible questions to pose to the doctor on Friday. I wonder, why is there no sign of a anen support group locally? All the support groups (or rather the lonely 2) that I found online were all US based, and 90% of the mothers carried their infants to full term. Are there no cases locally where the anen baby was carried full term?

Many of our friends have offered to provide a listening ear if we should need one. I thank every single one for their kindness, but it doesn't help us much. Most friends I have spoken to, were unable to give us any comfort, and we could not expect them to, because if the places were traded, I wouldn't know what to say or do to make me feel better. The usual ones we heard were "you're doing what's best for her". Is that really the best option for her? I honestly do not know.

I've been searching for local support groups because I want to know how the parents/mothers dealt with it. Doctors didn't give any emotional guidance, just to say "you need to do this". Besides the doctors' medical POV, nobody else could accurately tell us what the best is for Faith.

My worst fears seems to surface in every single possibility. Faith, being 22 weeks, might have her lungs functional. If induced, would she be a preemie and then suffer from her anen, together with her preemie issues? If she would, how long would she suffer? How long can I, as a mother, watch her suffer? If Faith is born full term, her lungs would definitely be functional, but she would come into this world suffering infections from her anen. And then again, how long would she suffer? Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months? How long, before I as a mother, emotionally breakdown?

Thanks for checking in with us.