Remembering her birth

The memories of being in the ward are still so vivid in my mind, especially the first night. The HO came to administer the first dose of tablets at 5.30PM and I had to stay in bed for the first hour after that. I only got off the bed at 6.30PM to change into my gown and settle down for dinner. Nurses filed in and out of my room, taking temperature and blood pressure, every two hours. The first contractions started around 6PM, came at about intervals of 15 minutes. Painless but reminded me constantly of my decision. Faith kicked around, probably disturbed by the mild contractions.

The second dose was administered by the midwife at about 8.30PM, and the night duty staff nurse came. She was sympathetic and hugged me. From about 9PM the contractions came with a little bit of pain, manageable, but still disturbing. I had to slowly rub my tummy to ease them off. Faith still kicked around, probably wondering what the hell I was doing. Family and friends came.

By 10PM, the pain was a little sharper than I liked, and it radiated to my lower back. A lot of gas building up inside me. Faith kicked a lot lesser than before.

11.30PM, the senior nurse came to administer the third dose of tablets. She was rougher than the HO and midwife...hurts a bit. Contractions came with short but sharp pains that quickly radiated to my lower back. I slept on my side, with one fist behind my back. I asked the nurses for some painkillers, and I was given some tablets to swallow.

12.00AM. A couple of friends left. I tried to sleep. Pain did not subside with the painkillers. Tossed and turned in bed, trying to find the best position to sleep in that would minimise my backaches and let me rest.

12.30AM. The pain is unbearable. The nurse comes in with a needle and injects a painkiller into my right thigh. The pain subsides, but the contractions do not. Pain is numbed, and I slept for a while.

2.30AM. The nurse comes in with the fourth dose of medication. ET and my girlfriend are asleep by now. The contractions continue at a shorter interval, lasting longer each time. Pain slowly came back. I managed to sleep a bit more.

4.00AM. The pain is unbearable, in my tummy as well as my lower back. My girlfriend is woken up by me, and calls the nurses for some painkillers. They come in with oral tablets again. I take the tablets and try to sleep again.

5.15AM. The pain is really unbearable. I was unable to sleep and kept tossing and turning. I kept getting up to walk and go to the toilet. The nurse comes in to give me the final dose of tablets. I tell her I want the injections, but she said it was too soon after my tablets. I was literally writhing about in bed in pain.

5.30AM. I know I wasn't supposed to get up for an hour after the tablets, but the urge to use the toilet was too strong. I went and had diarrhoea. Went back to bed and the moment I sat the bed, the urge to push came. It was horrible. (Now I know how women in our mother's time had it...)

The nurses came and prepared their stations. But they said I wasn't dilated yet, but they could feel the baby's head. They asked me to push whenever I felt I had to. I said the pain was really unbearable, and they finally agreed to give me another injection.

6.00AM. Still trying to push in the midst of my drowsiness. Pain is lessened by the injection, but the urge to push is still there.

6.30AM. The strongest urge came, and I pushed. My water burst, and along with it, came Faith. (She was born still). I fell back on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately due to the injections. The nurse asked if i wanted to see her. As much as I wanted to, I suppose I was too drugged to make a decision, and I said no. The midwife said something about the placenta. I was too drowsy to hear anything else.

7.00AM. I felt nausea and signaled the midwife I wanted to throw up. Before she could bring me a bag, I sat up and threw up on the carpet. That was when the placenta was delivered too. The midwife "packed" everything in a bag and pushed her trolley out the ward. It was over for me.

I slept, and only woke up around 9AM to have my breakfast and change. The nurses came to change my sheets. Whatever I learnt about Faith was through my mum and ET.

I pray I never go through anything like this again.