Today I sent my son to his grandmother's place, so I could spend some time by myself (finally) and spend some "mother-daughter" time with the baby in me.
I sang to her a lullaby from her brother's CD collection, and spoke to her as I went about my chores in the house. To my surprise, she kicked me in response!
I've been having second thoughts about going for my appointment this weekend. A tiny part of me wants to keep her to full term so she has a chance to be in this world. I found a family on the internet who had a anen daughter that they carried to full term, and the baby lived for 3 months before passing on due to infections.
As much as I want to spend some time with my daughter, I don't think I can bear to see her suffering from infections nor prepare a funeral for her. Neither do I want my son to go through the process of loving and losing his sister at his age. I'm in a dilemma.
I think I will still go and see the gynae this weekend and before any schedule is confirmed, I will want to ask if my daughter has a fighting chance at all. Her father named her Faith Angel, to remind us of the faith that we hold so dearly.
I've learnt to be joyful in the midst of trials, just like Faith. Although doctors said she had no forebrain, which gives her cognitive ability, she was still able to clap and be joyful. She is still able to respond to the sound of my voice.
I'm hoping and praying. Pray along with us.
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9 years ago
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I carried my anen daughter, Carleigh, to full term and it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Despite what you may find on the internet most anen babies are born alive if carried to term. My Carleigh was born still. I delivered vaginally and had my water broken. Keeping the amniotic sac intact is very critical and will increase the chances of anen babies being born alive. All the anen mommies I know who gave birth with the exception of 1 or 2 were able to spend time with their babies while they were alive. There are several online support groups- Anencephaly Support and Anencephaly Blessings From Above. Both are yahoo groups and I belong to both. They are a great area for support.
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