Hungry for the first time...

This morning, I woke up really really hungry. For the first time since Faith's gone, I felt hungry. I had a really heavy breakfast - 2 slices of peanut butter toast, a cup of milo, 1 serving of bird's nest (a must in confinements), and a bowl of vinegared pig trotters (my in law's trying her skills at cooking this traditional confinement dish & I've been taking this at least twice a day!!!). Maybe my sunny days are coming back earlier than expected??

I'm tearing a lot lesser though, but I'm fully at peace with Faith being gone now. Next week I have a Jamu massage lady coming in for 5 days. I'm being pampered to the tops this confinement, because I think everyone feels we should not have to go through this - confinement without a baby to care for.

Last night again I could not sleep between the hours of 3AM to 5AM. My son woke around the same time. He's been doing this ever since I was admitted. Strangely, 3AM to 5AM was the time where my contractions were the strongest, and I suspect Faith had breathed her last in this period of time.

I had no bad or weird dreams, I just wake up naturally at around 3AM or 4AM, and I'm lying in bed fully awake until almost 5 to 6AM before falling asleep again (the time where I was given a strong painkiller to knock me out). I wonder if it links.

Last night, ET woke with us. We were expecting to see the Leonids meteor shower, which would pass Asia. News reports speculated the showers to be about 5AM, but we waited till almost 6AM, and still saw nothing. I think the estate was too brightly lit to see anything at all. All we saw were a couple of stars twinkling in the sky. One of the brighter ones made me particularly happy and at peace. (Faith?)

We fell asleep eventually, giving up. ET slept in my bed (we sleep on separate single beds at my in laws), and it felt really comfortable.

I need to start writing again soon. My publishers have not contacted me regarding my first script. Maybe it wasn't up to their expectations. I know it wasn't up to mine. I personally felt the storyline dropped off somewhere in the second chapter and the story flatlined. I wouldn't buy it, neither would the publishers. So I need to come up with something again, soon.

I'm praying for my son to have peace in his heart and good sleep at nights. I'm praying for nights where I sleep all the way through too. I'm praying for my sunny days to be back, so we can all move on.

ET's tasked me with planning our short vacation for next month. I'm hoping I can find something soon.


Thanks for checking in.