I'm in a bad mood

I'm in a totally bad mood today. My mood is getting from bad to worse, like a stock market sliding into oblivion. I want to cry, but nothing comes out. I want to scream, but the people around me would probably think I've gone mad. I want to hit something or someone, but I can't find the energy to do so. I want to sleep, but my eyes refuse to stay shut. I'm in a bad mood, in a bad way.

Everything around me seems repulsive. I feel like I've just used my last bit of energy cajolling my son to take his noon nap. I'm angry, sad and tired all at the same time. I feel lonely, I feel locked up, tied down and strapped to the house. My ultimate desire now is to run - far away from the house, away from everyone, away from the world that seems suffocating suddenly today.

I don't want to talk to anyone, nor hear anyone talk. I want to sit near the beach with nobody beside me. I want to hear the waves rushing in and out. I want the sun on my skin. I want the breeze in my face. I want to be outside and scream bloody murder and nobody will even look my way.

I want to be outside where I can cry my eyes out, and nobody will even come near me to ask if I'm okay. I don't want to be hugged or patted on the shoulder/back. I want to curl up and in bed and sleep and never get up (if i could only fall asleep). I want the world to stop spinning and I'm the only one moving in it. I hate today. I hate myself today.

Maybe tomorrow it will be a different story. But for today, I hate everything in it.